Saturday, February 14, 2009
Can't Get Over Him...
Breaking up is really hard, especially if the dump came suddenly, and you wanted to stay together. You probably analyze the whole break up scene over and over with your friends.
Getting over him involves figuring out how you can learn and grow from the experience. Breakups, however painful, help you toughen up emotionally by teaching you to cope with rejection. You know the expression: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Through breakups, you become more prepared to deal with future disappointments ( of all kinds, not just with guys ).
They also teach you how to protect yourself from pain down the road by showing you what you want and don't from relationships. Try to look at your ruined romance objectively. Did you find yourself giving things up to spend more time with your boyfriend? If you ignored your interests for him or lost touch with some of your friends, you're probably feeling more of a void now that he's gone. So get right back to your hobbies, focus on grades, hook up with those buds -in other words, regain your independence. A rich life makes the breakup less crushing, if only by distracting you from its sting!
That said, don't pretend the breakup wasn't a blow. Getting over a guy means giving yourself enough time to mourn the emptiness you feel. Circle a date on your calendar as the day you'll stop grieving. Before that date arrives, its OKAY to cry; after it, vow that you'll no longer feel sad when you hear his name or see him.
Your life will get better because you're a good person -another crucial point. Yes, this guy brokeup with you, and it's perfectly normal to feel bad about that. But you shouldn't feel bad about yourself. Don't let the breakup threaten your self-esteem.
I believe everyone who touches your life teaches you an important lesson. Make a list of all the things you learned from knowing this guy. What have you learned about yourself from loving him? What mistakes did you make? What will you do differently the next time?
You may have lost him, but I bet you didn't realize how much you've gained from your experience.